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Image by P Shanks via Flickr

by Rob Cameron

Communicating virtually

There are many benefits to participation in social media and utilising the many forms of virtual communication that is available to us (email, instant messaging, SMS text messages etc), they are generally ‘real’ time, allow for conversational flow, quick exchanges and are great for building some level of relationship. However, it is also worth considering a few potential pitfalls of using such virtual communication channels.

Virtual communication channels tend to be devoid of richness, when I say that I mean that you do not have the luxury of seeing who you are ‘talking’ to, you cannot see the look in their eyes, their body language, their expressions; You cannot hear their voice, the intonation, rhythm, pitch, speed. Therefore, you cannot really gauge the mood or receptiveness of the person at the other end.

Mehrabian: The meaning of communication

There is a much quoted study that was conducted by Prof. Albert Mehrabian of UCLA that suggested that up to 93% of the meaning that people derived from a communication was based on factors other than the actual words used. The study was predominantly researching whether people believed or liked the feelings of a person presenting, the match of their verbal message with their demonstrated message, I believe that there are some basic truths in the findings.

Mehrabian, suggested that 55% of the message that people took away was based on non-verbal cues such as the presenters stance, facial gestures and hand movements; 38% of the message received was based on verbal cues other than the words themselves, such as intonation, pitch, rhythm etc and the final 7% was derived from the actual words used.

Even if the exact percentages may not apply directly, from my own experience I would suggest that the general findings are ‘correct’ the more content rich you can make your message, the more ‘supporting’ information/evidence you can provide to the receiver of your communication the better are the chances of the message you intended being received in the correct vein.

The pen is mightier than the sword.

Also, consideration must be given to the written messages that tend to form the medium for most virtual communication channels; the choice of words and placement of punctuation can have a significant effect on how the message is read by the recipient. Remember, the meaning of a communication is the reaction you receive not what you intended. I have seen that happen a number of times and experienced it myself a jokey quip sent innocently, not received in the vein that it was meant and poof, a heated exchange or silence ensues.

What you see is not always what you get.

Another interesting phenomena that I have noted, particularly on social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter is the unrepresentative profile picture. You form an impression of someone’s personality, age etc from the picture that they decide to use for their profile. On several occasions now, I have been lucky enough to meet people in “real life” (in person) after making initial contact with them on Twitter. I’ve made my way to the allotted meeting place to look for the person represented by their profile picture, to eventually find someone much different. Typically someone somewhat older than their picture would have you believe.

Be careful out there

I think that line was a classic from Hill Street Blues… It may seem obvious to say it, but be careful what you disclose and say in the ‘webosphere’. Until you have actually got the ‘measure’ of the people you are communicating with, be very wary of what you say and what you provide. I got caught out, not seriously, in a scam a few years back that has made me very wary. When you first connect with somebody new on a social media site, do you really know who they are? Would you be open and give away information to somebody you just met on the street? I think not, so how come people seem to open up so freely on some social media sites?

So what should you do?

Whenever possible, I would suggest that you use a ‘richer’ channel for communication. Best, in my opinion, is always face to face; of course that may not always be practicable. If you cannot do face to face, perhaps you could use a video link, then phone before resorting to email/Text/chat; particularly where it is important to get your message across.

Spend some time building the relationship and trust before baring your soft underbelly, unfortunately there are some unscrupulous people out there. However, it our human endowment to generally try to ‘like’ people and think the best of people; which can have dangerous consequences.

Rob Cameron is an experienced Manager, Coach and Mentor. Founder of Ignition Coaching and partner in Spotlight on Performance. Keen blogger and social media user.

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